Messages: The Communication Skills Book is a book written by Matthew McKay, Martha Davis, and Patrick Fanning, first published in 1983. The book is focused on helping readers develop effective communication skills, with a particular emphasis on assertiveness and active listening.
The book is intended for anyone who wants to improve their communication skills, whether in personal or professional contexts. It's especially relevant for people who struggle with assertiveness, feel misunderstood, or want to develop deeper, more meaningful relationships with others.
The authors begin by exploring the basics of effective communication, including the importance of nonverbal communication and active listening. They then delve into the concept of assertiveness and offer practical strategies for expressing yourself clearly and confidently.
Throughout the book, the authors provide a number of useful exercises and worksheets to help readers practice and apply the skills they've learned. They also offer advice on how to handle difficult conversations, navigate conflict, and build stronger relationships with others.
One of the key takeaways from the book is the importance of being aware of your own communication style and how it may impact others. The authors encourage readers to be mindful of their own tendencies towards passive or aggressive communication, and to strive for a more assertive, respectful approach.
The book is written in an engaging and accessible style, with plenty of real-life examples and anecdotes to help illustrate key concepts. The authors also provide a number of helpful tips and tricks for improving communication, such as using "I" statements and avoiding judgmental language.
The book has been widely praised for its practical, easy-to-implement advice, and has become a classic in the field of communication skills. It has been updated and revised several times since its original publication, most recently in 2019.
Overall, "Messages: The Communication Skills Book" is an excellent resource for anyone looking to improve their communication skills and build stronger relationships with others. Whether you're looking to improve your personal relationships, navigate difficult conversations at work, or simply communicate more effectively in everyday life, this book is sure to be a helpful and informative read.
The book emphasizes the importance of active listening and being present in the moment during conversations. The authors provide a number of tips and exercises for developing active listening skills, such as reflecting back what the other person has said and asking open-ended questions.
The authors also encourage readers to be mindful of their body language and nonverbal cues, as these can often communicate more than words alone. They offer practical advice on how to use body language effectively, such as maintaining eye contact and using open, relaxed postures.
The book is rooted in the belief that effective communication is essential for building strong, healthy relationships with others. The authors emphasize the importance of empathy, respect, and mutual understanding in all communication.
One of the unique features of the book is its focus on assertiveness, which the authors define as the ability to express yourself clearly and confidently while still respecting the rights and needs of others. The book provides a number of practical strategies for developing assertiveness skills, such as using "I" statements and setting clear boundaries.
The authors also encourage readers to be mindful of cultural differences in communication styles, and to strive for cultural sensitivity and respect in all communication.
Overall, "Messages: The Communication Skills Book" is an invaluable resource for anyone looking to improve their communication skills and build stronger, more meaningful relationships with others. Whether you're a seasoned communicator or just starting out, this book is sure to have something to offer.
Details of e-book Messages: The Communication Skills Book
- Author(s): Matthew McKay
- Title: Messages: The Communication Skills Book
- Rating: 4.6 out of 5 base on 378 reviews
- Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; Fourth Edition, Revised (August 1, 2018)
- ISBN-10: 1684031710
- ISBN-13: 9781684031719
- Language: English
- Print length: 336 pages
- Categories: Reference

Katherine Stevenson
This book has given me many great ideas and even more practical advice. I see some reviewers saying this was mostly a general sales philosophy and outdated advice. If you're already on sale, this might be a re-hash for you. There are criticisms of the book that it doesn't talk about tools, metrics, and so on, and I agree that it's important.

Sydney Richardson
Very well written, and thought out. I really enjoyed this book and this was well worth the read.

Aileen Menzie
I really liked the style of the book. It's easy and fun to read. The best part is, it's filled with actionable tips and examples that show you how to do the job for yourself.
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